We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
