Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Still dying that you shit outside
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
