i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize