Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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