you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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