I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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