I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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