A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
