I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
