break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
