I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
