Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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