he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
