I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
