Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
