Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
