I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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