Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When are your genitals available?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
