butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
