Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
