You just made me feel so damn special
Do you still have your period?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
