dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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