Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
