First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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