i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
