it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
