He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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