His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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