this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
