it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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