Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
