i don't like sucking hair
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
this boner is exhausting
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
