Cold hands, warm shart.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
