Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
