I puked a lego.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
