I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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