i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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