he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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