it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i believe in u and ur pee
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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