so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
