Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
