Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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