after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
