I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
