I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
