I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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