Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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