so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
