I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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