Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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