What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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