It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
