i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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