yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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