Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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