If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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