Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize