Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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