He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
