I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it was like eating out sand paper
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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