It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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