i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
