They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
