Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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