I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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